I’d like to share something I learned this past summer after going to camp.
I was a camper for two weeks before being a CIT for one.
After my last week as a camper, I received some acknowledgments that, while I did enjoy them, I didn’t understand what I had *done* to deserve them.
A few weeks after camp, The Mamooks and I were talking. During this conversation, I distinguished for myself that what had *been* great about me wasn’t what I was *doing*, rather, it was how I was *being*.
I think part of what I got of last school year was access to a pretty cool way of *being*.
I love to use the word ‘visible’ to describe things. To me, when used metaphorically, it means something like ‘relatively easy to observe and comprehend’. When I typed in into my last blog post I wondered if there would be a better alternative word that doesn’t have the same implications around sightedness.
‘Observable’ doesn’t quite get the part about comprehension.
Over the course of this year (and last year?) Mel, Ash, and I read a trilogy of books: Ancillary Justice, Ancillary Sword, and Ancillary Mercy. They were great fun! I love Breq and I love how actually looking at some pages and seeing how differently all the words were spelled compared to how I imagined they would be demonstrated to me that I really do spell out in my head every word I hear.
Reading those books took up a significant portion of my time this past year and I think it was certainly worth it because it was great for my relationships with each of them as well as just being so darn fun and thought-provoking.
Having said that, I do wonder if I want to keep reading books because maybe if I had more time on my hands I would spend it on things that have a more visible lasting impact on me and my environment.
Wow. When I wrote that last blog post I forgot that it was the last blogging time of the 2017-2018 school year. To me, that pretty much represents how this whole school year has felt to me. The weeks kept passing by and every milestone into the year’s progression felt like it came by surprise.
I reflect that I wish I’d gotten more done this year. After the feeling of surprise by how many weeks have already passed come a feeling of confusion at what I did spend my time on for each of those weeks and then a feeling of sadness because I wish I’d spent it on something better.
I find it ironic that at the beginning of this year I made a post about how I’d mastered intentionality. xD
If I really sit back and try to use my lens of wisdom. I think that the real outcomes of this year centered around strengthening my relationships and sense of community, as well as learning a bit about a few skills here and there (chess, wood working, knitting, et al.). While I do understand the idea that building community has value, I still don’t actually see the value that I might have gotten from it.
Maybe the thing that I feel the most proud of from this year is all the areas in which I’ve exercised courage and done something that I was too afraid to do before now. Like participating in physical activities, applying to become a CIT at my summer camp, and other small things that I know I have approached with more courage than I have in the past.
I keep trying to find a moral of this year’s story or some clear takeaway so I can improve next year, but I’m struggling to.
Recently I learned more about the zodiac. I’ve had fun with it and I think it has its uses. I do wonder if I’ll experience a downside in expecting people to act like their sign and being biased in that way.
…is when somebody describes a tool as though it’s part of the person using it. For example, saying “I got tailgated by an irresponsible driver,” is referring to the cars as though they are the people driving them.
I find this idea interesting to have in my awareness and I think about it often.
I recently got introduced to a game called Ultimate Chicken Horse. I had loads of fun and after the person who introduced it to me informed me that they didn’t like playing it with me, I got it for myself.
In UCH, you see a start point and end point and you place obstacles or platforms to make it just hard enough that you can get through but no less skilled player can. You then control your character and try to make it through without dying. I find it fun and see many opportunities to improve my skill level.
Over the course of the past couple days, I introduced it to a group of younger people and we’ve played around three hours of it. When seeing how they seemed to relate to the game, I immediately made a comparison to how I used to relate to a game called Super Smash Bros.
Back in the days of Jakebob and the Sterling twins, Ryan brought in his N64 so we could play one of his favorite games from childhood, SSB. The game itself shares many traits with UCH.
When I played SSB, I played it all day long, every day, often skipping lunch. I notice a similar thing happening with the group who play UCH. Back in the old days, it got to a point where Ryan took away his N64 because he didn’t want us to keep spending all our time playing. I guess we’ll see if this situation evolves the same way.